Dear
Janice,

It
would appear you would like to play online games especially Bingo.
Now I understand we all need a hobby in life to while away the lonely
hours of these dark evenings and a little gambling across many sites
is yours.
Indeed if this is your vice I agree you should take
advantage of all of the joining up offers that these types of sites
give you. There’s nothing wrong with 50 free spins, or £30 added to
your account with “No restrictions on the amount you can
win!!!”
Chase your dreams Janice, you just never know when
lady luck will cast her loving favor towards you. You may be able to
buy a new car, finally take that holiday to white sandy sunny shores
afar or even pay off your mortgage.

My
dreams though Janice are far simpler. I am not a complicated man. I
like to come home from work and relax. When I go to sleep at night I
like to get the three or four hours of unbroken rest my body allows
me with no disturbances from modern technology.
So with that in
mind Janice will you please please bloody stop putting my mobile
phone number into the online registration forms. It seems you prefer
a full nights sleep too without the hassle of text messages from
FreeBingo and it’s rather shady associates that have now started
offering me services in the early hours that I have never needed
before and don’t need now. I have not led a sheltered life but some
of the options that are listed amaze me that there is demand enough
to advertise about it!
Janice you play your bingo and your slot
machines. I hope they make you happy but for the love of God go and
buy a disposable phone (seriously you get them for a tenner from
anywhere now) and put that number in your freebie forms.
How do I
know it’s you Janice? Well that’s easy. They are texting you by name
to my phone.

Best
regards

Ineedtosleeptonight