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After playing off road with Brian last weekend a few things have come up that need looking at including a rear Diff replacement bypassing the sediment filter two track rod ends and fitting the winch bumper that I bought a couple of weeks ago.

The bumper did need looking at though, it had a couple of huge spot lights that are not my thing but the old brackets had been welded on so out came the grinder to put short play to those. The bumper ends were a bit rough with dents and sharp lips along with copious amounts of mud inside so I cleaned them out ground them with my trusty grinder and welded new end caps into place some how managing to kill my welder in the process!

All that done it was time to crack open an old very small tin of Hammerite that surely must hold enough paint in the bottom of it to give a new lease of life to my old bumper…

With that looking better I let it dry overnight and when I got home today the sky was clear and it was only four thirty so I thought I would quickly change the bumpers only because it is only four bolts after all so it shouldn’t take too long…my arse didn’t it.

Four sodding bolts to remove the old one which in all fairness came off easily enough lulling me into a false sense of security…
Not only was I feeling a tad smug that all was going so well but I was happy to see a distinct lack of rust on the chassis which was reassuring. I jogged to get the new bumper from the greenhouse I had painted it in and managed to smack one end of it into a pane of glass that sang and wobbled for a few seconds but somehow amazingly didn’t smash! With another good omen on my side all looked good for this easy change over.
I managed to line up the bumper on the ends of the chassis no problem were with the help of a jack it sat until I started tapping it into place proper with my trusty old lump hammer that lasted two good whacks then disintegrated in a shower of rotten splinters with the head flying off of the metal bumper straight back past my face so close I felt the wind as it passed and the jogger who was just passing behind me literally shot himself as it bounced next to his left foot then up again between his legs past his most sensitive area and past his right thigh. All this of course happened in slow mo and thankfully the head then rolled to a stop next to the gutter of the dual carriageway without clocking any of the passing cars.
I was going to give the jogger my apologies but he just seemed to start running away from me faster and faster as I stood up off of my knees?? Can’t imagine why.

Once I had retrieved the lump hammer head I dug out my metal handled hammer and carried on jacking whacking and kicking the bloody bumper into place because when I got one hole lined up the other three were miles out. Not to worry I just bolted one hole at a time and kicked three bells out of it until another hole lined up eventually.

This went on for nearly two hours.

But good old fashioned violence and severely bad language the master of all and everything that fixes it in the end by hook or by crook and low and behold the bloody bumper was in place! It looked just about as bad as before I had painted it from the continued abuse it had taken so I set to seeing if I could drag another coat of paint out of the tin that I had already thrown in the bin thinking there was no way I could get much more from it and I stood back to admire my work. It took me a few moments of confusion to figure out what looked wrong with it when I realised I should really put the number plate back on or plod might have something to say about it…


Looks better than I thought it would! In fact Brian looks like he could do some serious business now…the only problem there is me of course but I am getting a bit braver with the off roading thing honest! I even drove over a hill last weekend that I had no idea of what was on the other side admittedly my friend who was sat next to me did know but that’s not the point!
So I will go and pick a few bits up in the morning and keep getting Brian just right and running true. The winch itself is the next big thing to do but I want to do a strip down and refurb on it before on it before it gets fitted so I know all is right.
And to think I thought I needed another project on the drive when I had barely started on this one…

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