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“Shall we go green laning on Sunday?” I said online well it seemed like such a good idea at the time sat in my armchair with a cup of steaming tea by my side.

So a breezy chilly Sunday Derbyshire 10am arrived and we sat waiting for the others to turn up which to my relief a few actually did and we were soon heading off into the picturesque countryside. Now in my head I was going to be driving down gentle lanes taking in the views at a gentle pace just like I do when we are out walking…I was wrong.

I couldn’t see the views because I was too busy trying to keep Bodget Brian in a straight line at a slow pace whilst bouncing up and down through deep ruts because he chose this moment to inform me that his power steering pump was at the end of life and not only refusing to play but actively sticking the wheels in the wrong direction making a tough job even harder!
I had to laugh though I thought it could only happen to me but as the day went on and after we had left two more motors had big issues with engines cutting out and drastic loss of power in that order! But we had already thrown in the towel after a couple of hours and missed these bits.

There was one downhill section that really ended it for us it was a bit tight plenty rough enough and I just couldn’t keep it in any direction let alone the one I wanted…this was not what I had set in my mind while I sat in my living room asking who wanted to come out and play!…

All moaning aside it wasn’t just our Brian who made it not as pleasant as I was expecting that dear reader was me. I have visions in my head of how I expect things to be and lets say they are not always realistic. I thought I would be taking in the views whilst doing my best Sunday driver impression but when I recognised this thought somewhere along a lane with yet another bank approaching fast even though it wasn’t supposed to be I realised that what I was imagining WAS a Sunday drive out and all I was missing was a flask of tea then the penny dropped that was in a bag in the boot that realisation was soil destroying to start with my heart sank I decided I was old then considered what retirement options I had.
Then I accepted and a bit quickly as well because even though I want to go off roading I will with the NLRC and even though I want to green lane I will along nice flat easy ones so I don’t shake up my flask of tea too much.
Wifey and I even stopped for lunch on the way home then started to giggle at each other over our dinner table in the restaurant as we looked at the fare we were about to start to eat, turns out we are sandwich tea and cake people aka old farts and we are quite happy with that 🙂

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