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I awoke to just the one finger hurting the one with the big slice in so I thought to myself that it was a bonus the finger tip bruising is easing off. That lasted until I got up and tried to use my right hand which informed me in no uncertain terms I am still a cretin that tried to remove his fingers with a fan blade. It’s right I am a complete tool! Thank god I still have a full set of fingers!

On that note have you ever tried to wipe your arse with your left hand? No? me neither until this morning and what an experience it is! It wasn’t until I had lets say finished manoeuvres that as I sat there the dawning realisation of the task before me hit home. Its not really something you think about is it wiping your arse? I mean you just do it like so many other things it just has to be done… I ended up laughing at myself when I realised I was sort of hovering and balancing on my right leg whilst trying to aim my left hand with a safety “just in case this goes wrong” huge amount of loo roll thinking to myself “well which way do I normally wipe? Back to front, front to back?” It really isnt that complicated is it! Needless to say mission accomplished but my word it took some thinking about!
There was me thinking that brushing your teeth left handed was weird with the toothbrush facing the wrong way!

SO what could I do to the Landy today then? Obviously not a lot… I mean we know I am not allowed to do anything and after yesterdays near miss I wasnt up for pushing my luck too far, well that and my eldest daughter was kicking around the house in that semi awake state teenagers seem to live in and I am sure she was supposed to be at college so there may be a plot at keeping an eye on me going on here.

All I could come up with to do was to take the battery box cover out of the painting room (greenhouse) and fit it.

Looks good enough and has just shown me that I need to paint the inside of the Landy as well as the outside!

I then mooched around outside for a bit seeing a few things that “I could be getting on with” so quickly retreated indoors. Here I found in one of those cheesy gift magazines that kick around at Christmas time possibly THE most inappropriate gift I have ever seen…

FART PANTS. Pants that absorb the smell of your arse when you drop a doozy. Who thinks of these things? Who set up the photo of the bloke with his nose up the girls backside!??? If these places pay for stupid ideas I am going to be a very rich man!

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